Killing the Time
by Splashes of Madness
Summary: Back to the future!...Or not? After a mission gone wrong, Sven wakes up in a city where Train's still the Black Cat, Saya's still alive and Eve is still owned by Torneo Rudman. But the chain of events isn't the same! Should Sven let it play out or should he try to change this world's fate? Manga Sven and Anime Universe *ON HIATUS*
1. Prologue

Sven had not anticipated this in the least.

As he ran to try and save a friend that was never really officially his, running against the clock that ticked inside his very head, he did not think about anything else.

What had happened? He wasn't sure. He just knew he couldn't let it all fall to chaos again. He had already done the math, made his supposed theories, and came to this conclusion.

Their universe had failed. Or something. But the point was, he had been sent here for some reason. To intercept or to be a witness, he did not know.

But now that he was here, he couldn't help but do something. And he tried, and he had screwed up. Now, instead of becoming better, he knows that he had just made it all the more worse.

When his friend breaks apart because of what he did, Sven won't be able to bear it.


	2. Prologue: Omake Theater

**OMAKE THEATER**

**Sven stared flabbergasted up at the title. "…It's wrong." **

"**What? Why?" Splashes of Madness hopped into her laptop and stood next to Sven against the bland white background. "I don't see anything wrong about it. And did you just see what I did there? I used a funny word. Hee hee! But it's real, so I'm not stupid!" **

**Sven ignored the last bit and pointed up to the top of the page. "I think that Omake Theater is a short clip at the end of an anime. It should just be called Omake." **

"**Really?" Splashes of Madness tilted her head to the side as she looked thoughtfully up at the title. "I think it could go either way. I might have seen it in a manga before… I think! AH WELL. It looks better like this anyway. Just "Omake" is too short and boring. Too BLAND. Omake Theater has PAZAZZ!" **

**Sven blinked. "I don't see-"**

"**PAZAZZ!" Splashes of Madness screamed, suddenly in Sven's face and wriggling her fingers in front of his eyes. **

"**OKAY!" Sven squeaked, backing up quickly. **

"**Do you wanna know why I started an Omake Theater?" Splashes of Madness said irrelevantly.**

"**Not particularly." **

"**Because," Splashes of Madness sighed, turning away from him. "I've had an epiphany. I like writing random shit." **

"**That's not an epiphany. That's a fact that anyone who's read your lameass stories should know." **

"**SHUT UP. So a little after I started writing chapter 4, I had a cool idea. Since I like, pretty much never finish any long chaptered stories except oneshots, I should make it fun for me. Goals. So now, after every chapter, there shall be an OMAKE THEATER!" Splashes of Madness threw streamers in the air. "yaaaay…" **

"**Shit." Sven's eyebrow twitched. "So you're gonna do this…at the end of each and every single friggen chapter in this fanfiction?" **

"**Silly! I just told you that!" Splashes of Madness giggled and patted his fedora-ed head. "You're such a funny goofball, Sven." **

"**NOOOOOO!" Sven hurled his hands up into the air. "THIS CAN'T HAAAAPPEN!" **

"**Too late!" Splashes of Madness laughed hysterically. "Already made up my mind!" **

"**But…But… What if the readers hate it?" Sven gurgled, trying to discourage her. **

"**Well then, they can go screw themselves." Splashes of Madness smiled blatantly, totally impervious to discouraging. **

**And forgetting the fact that she was already probably pissing off several readers at that very moment. **

"**But won't it break the tension during tense chapters?" Sven persisted. "And the cliffhangers!" **

"**Whatever. If I make them funny enough, I don't think readers will mind (much)." Not only was she impervious; discouragement just bounced right off. **

"**Ah…Ah…" Sven hung his head. "Oh, whatever. Do whatever the hell you want."**

"**YAY!" Splashes of Madness turned to the screen. "Okay, so, sorry the prologue was really vague. But you should feel HAPPY YOU EVEN GOT A PROLOGUE AT ALL. HA HA HA!" **

"**Do you have a life?" **

"**No, do you?" **

"**Do I?" **

"**Do you?" **

**The two stared stupidly at each other for some time. **

**Suddenly Splashes of Madness began laughing hysterically. Sven ran away in fear. "AAAAAAHHHH FORGET THIS I DON'T WANNA BE WITH THIS FU*KING LUNATIC ANYMORE! SCREW MY GENTLEMAN'S CODE!" **

**Splashes of Madness turned to the screen. "Please enjoy and review! A LOT! And if you don't…" **

**The screen panned in on a face that could make babies cry. **_"…I'll send my rabid killer monkey-mongooses after you." _

"_**WHEN THE HELL DID YOU HAVE THOSE-!" **_


	3. Chapter 1

_I DON'T OWN ANYTHING! NOT BLACK CAT, NOT TRAIN OR SVEN OR EVE OR ANY FRICKEN BODY! *goes to cry in emo corner* _

* * *

><p>It seemed… so… normal.<p>

The day had started normally: they woke up normally, they ate together normally, they acted normally, and they set off normally.

It was just any other dumb, fun-packed day.

Train had been laughing at the strangest things (ex. an old man jogging, birdpoop on the windowsills, squirrels…), Eve had already been glued inside a new book she had found on the French Revolution and her new role model (besides Rinslet and Sven), Joan of Arc, and did not speak a word to anyone.

As for Sven, he had been looking around for their newest target, trying his damnest to ignore Train, who was poking and prodding him, saying over and over again, "_Ne, _Sven? _Ne? Ne? _Sven? Sven? Svenny-baby?"

According to their last witness- "Ne?" …the man had been seen a little ways away from here "Ne, Sven?" …and in order to get gas he should have come to this city- "Ne Ne?" So he should probably be around here… "Sveeen…" somewhere… "Ne, Sven? Some… "Ne?" _where… _"Ne, Sv-"

Sven whipped around, hands twitching as he restrained his homicidal urges to strange his partner. After all, he had only one (not including Eve). "No! I _DON'T _GET IT, TRAIN! _WHAT IS IT?" _

Train wriggled his arms, swaying from side to side with a stupid, pleased expression and taking his sweet-ass time to reply now that he had achieved Sven's attention. _But when Eve becomes old enough I might just start considering it. And just because you feel perfectly fine with looking like a dolt doesn't mean everyone else wants to see it. _Sven sometimes wanted to just grab him and pull him into an alley so that he wouldn't be humiliated in public. Nobody would be able to see him slaughter the younger man there, either. "I was just saying that Eve's hair looks really cute now, right? It shouldn't be cut any farther."

Eve paused and looked up from her book as she was brought into the conversation. Or, rather, Train's utterly random observation.

Sven sighed. "I _know, _Train. I was the one who _suggested _it."

"No you weren't."

"…Yeah I was."

"No you weren't." Train insisted.

He blinked. "…Then who did?"

"Rins. Duh." Train said, rolling his eyes. "Who else does Eve look like?"

"…But she was surprised when she saw it."

"She didn't think Princess was gonna do it. Double duh."

"Then why do I remember it differently?"

"You remember a lot of things differently, Sven." Eve murmured. She had returned back to her book a little while ago, when she rationally realized that this conversation was not going to go anywhere anytime soon. "You change things to your liking unconsciously."

"Triple duh!" Sang Train, his mouth curling into a catlike smirk.

That expression made Sven want to punch him, too. "I don't do that!"

Silence. Train kept standing there, still smiling like a dumbass, and Eve had looked up, her unconvincing expression saying everything there was she had to say but didn't need to.

"…Not that much…" Sven ended weakly.

A longer silence stretched between them.

"Ah." Train said suddenly.

"Ah?" Sven repeated.

"Yeah: ah!" Train said, blinking and smiling at him.

Oh God he wanted to punch him. He would soon, unless he wiped that stupid smirk off his face and for once looked like he didn't have cheese for brains… "I know what you said, but why?" Sven asked with a sigh.

"The bounty's here." Train said cheerily.

Sven finally let loose that long-restrained punch and hit him as hard as he could on the head and whipped around, ignoring Train who slumped to the floor behind him with an overly dramatic groan.

Mike Tisker. Bounty: 10,000,000. The Murdering Ace. He played dirty at pubs to get wheelbarrow loads of money, and then killed the person he had played, sometimes even wiping out whole bars as long as there were liable witnessesses. He was the kind of person who you don't notice in pictures, but when you're looking for him, he sticks right out like a sore thumb. He had some kind of funky hair that was poofed out in probably his attempt in creating a ponytail. He had punk clothes on that said "WHERE IZ DA MAN" in bright red letters on the back of his jacket. His arms were covered with tight wristbands and tattoos. Mexican.

And now, after all that tracking, he was standing before them like a gift from angels and all Train had to say to about it was "Ah."

Imbecile.

Sven gave Eve (Train was no use at the moment, as he writhed on the ground playing 'dead') a look that meant "stay behind but far enough to cover me if I need it," and began to slowly work his way casually into the crowd. Even from where he stood, Tisker's aura seemed to scream across the street, 'DON'T MESS WITH ME!' but he didn't have to worry about looking conspicuous. He blended in well enough with his tux (he didn't wear it just for his "gentleman's code;" he looked just like any other ordinary, if curiously dressed person on the street, and for other occasions the white tux gave him a fancy-like persona that could easily label him as a "rich target" for thieves) and was able to move in slowly and discreetly towards their criminal.

When he was finally close enough, he bumped into him on "accident," forcing him out of the crowd. They both stumbled onto the street, almost landing on their faces.

"Watch where you're going!" snapped the larger man, balancing himself and looming over Sven.

"Ah, sorry about that," he apologized quickly, bending down to pick up his briefcase. But as Tisker turned to keep walking, Sven took the moment to pull out the gun in his coat and turn around, putting it right up against the man's head.

"Sweeper," Sven smirked, "Taking you in!" Behind Tisker, he could see Eve walking towards them and not far behind was Train, looking a little sulky for missing out on what could have been fun.

The people on the sidewalk, upon seeing the gun and sensing the suddenly tense impact in the atmosphere took swift retreats. A mother grabbed her two children and ran to the other side of the block.

Tisker had stopped, and hadn't moved for about a minute. Sven couldn't see his face; his back was facing him. But he surely must feel the cold metal against the back of his head, right? Didn't he know he was in danger? Was he giving up?

Finally, Tisker turned around. "Sweeper, huh?"

He smirked. "Well, can't say I wasn't expecting this."

Too late did the warning bells go on in Sven's head. Too late did Sven see the knife he had pulled out of his jacket, and he was too late to react when Tisker suddenly thrust the gun away with a swift shove and came rushing in towards him. "I'VE ALREADY KILLED _SIX!_"

…

Upon this point, Sven's memory was briefly severed. It took him a minute to process what had happened. One minute Tisker was rushing towards him and the next this knife was buried up to its hilt in his stomach.

The surprise, the horror, and the suddenness of it all blocked out the pain that was sure to come rushing into him soon and instead left him in a state of shock. All he could do was splutter. "Wh-Why y-ou—! …" He grabbed at the knife with trembling, sweaty hands, his focus going in and out. "You…" Darkness was creeping up into the corners of his vision. He tried to shake it off, but the motion just made it worse. His grip on the blade slackened. He felt the freezing, stiff metal slide with a sickening feeling from his flesh, and then a rush of cold air as he fell back. _Oh God. _

The last thing he was aware of was Eve's horrified scream and Train's shocked shout. "_SVEN!" _

And then he is thrown into a whirlwind of cold and blackness.

* * *

><p>Review! Yup Yup!<p> 


	4. Chapter 1: Omake Theater

**OMAKE THEATER **

**Chapter 1. **

"**Can't say I wasn't expecting this…" Tisker grinned and pulled out a knife, stabbing Sven. "I'VE ALREADY KILLED SIX!" **

**Sven gasped. "AGH! GAWD! THAT HURTS!" He stumbled around, tripping and flailing and spilling blood like, everywhere. Ew. "OMYGOD! IT'S AN EFFIN DAGGER! IT'S STUCK IN MY CHEST! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT! ASIHBLFASKJ" **

**And then he fell over. **

**Train and Eve walked over, standing around him. "Sven? Are you okay?" **

**Sven was completely motionless. **

"**Sven?"**

**Sven drooled a bit. **

"…"

**Eve poked Sven with a stick. **

"…"

**Train looked at Eve. "What now?" **

"**Well, Train, now that our roles are finished, I don't think we have anything else to do. For now, we'll just have to sit tight." **

"**What, and wait for Sven to come back from Lala land? Don't we have more parts in the story? Is that all we were here for?" Train shook his fist at the sky. "CURSE YOU, SPLASHES OF MADNESS!"**

**He was hit by some very convenient lighting. **

"**Stop cursing the writer-witch, Train. It doesn't affect her." Eve deadpanned to the overcooked ex-assassin. "And as for our face-time, I estimate that you and I won't show up in any more upcoming scenes except for schmaltzy flashbacks and perhaps the ending." **

"**DAMMIT!" **

"**But as for our anime counterparts, we will probably start showing up quiet soon, so there's not much need to worry." **

**Train suddenly leapt forward, accidentally trampling the unconscious Sven in the process and covering his hands on her mouth. "SSHHHH! The readers aren't supposed to know that Sven's been transported into the Black Cat anime universe yet!" **

**Eve took Train's hands off her and shoved them into his mouth. "Chill it, Train. The readers already know that. They've read the summary. They probably already know the entire plot already." **

"**Well, shit! What's the fun in that?" **

"**For the drama." Eve said grimly. "They read…for the drama." **

**Train gasped. "So they know… my future?" **

"**They know everything." Eve stared at him, her mouth curving into an upside U. "And you can't stop it, Train." **

"**NOOOOOO!" Train's head exploded. His body stayed upright for a moment, and then fell down.**

**Eve looked down at the bloody carnage of her two partners silently. "…" After a minute, she put a hand in her bag and pulled out a juice box. "This is gonna be a loooong story. I wonder if she'll finish it." After sipping a bit from the straw, she turned the screen. **

"…**Review." **


	5. Chapter 2

_I don't own Black cat. Nodda. Nope. Nothing. But I do own lots of pictures of Train in my computer. _

_Train: **Too much information!**_

_Splashes of Madness: But you're so HOT! 3_

_Sven: What about me? _

_Splashes of Madness: Well… you're super hot too, Sven! Train is sorta a mixture of hotness and cuteness, and you're a mixture of hotness and sexiness. *considers* or maybe it's the other way around. _

_Both: **WHAT!**_

* * *

><p><em>My body<em>… _It's so cold…_

_Freezing…_

_I can't get warm… my skin…I'm surrounded by ice… It hurts…_

_Cold… So cold… _

…_Am I... **dying?** _

_Oh God. _

**_Oh God!_**

_I'm going to **Hell.**_

_I don't want to go to Hell!_

_Oh God… _

_Forgive me of my sins, though I have many. Too many._

_In fact, I don't even have the right of asking you for forgiveness... _

_But I…_

_I…_

…

_There's still…_

_**. . . **  
><em>

Sven's eyes open groggily.

…

…What?

…

Wait, _**what?**_

Animal-like instincts took over the confusion in his mind for a terrifying moments, and he would have jumped up and started running around or flailing a bit if his body hadn't felt so heavy. It was like he shackled to the ground, trapped in his own skin. Instead, he waited, zigzagging across the borderlines of patience, for himself to calm down, and took a deep breath, looking up in front of him again.

Blue. It's the sky. He's staring up at the sky.

As his vision returned, he noticed a few other characteristics. The clouds are moving slowly, but they are almost as dark as smoke. The sky is a kind of yucky, grayish blue. Not the clouds he had just been looking at. Not the sky he had just seen. But where had he seen them? Why did it bother him? Not to mention; his back and chest hurt. He's lying on some kind of rough, hard terrain. _Definitely _not where he last remembered.

What happened?

Once he fully returned back to his body, he twitched his fingers, getting his blood flowing inside them again. Almost immediately his body immediately started burning as though little pin needles were piercing his skin all over. It was like he was hugging a prickly tree. Apparently, he hasn't moved for a long time.

Sven finally trusted his body enough to sit up, and placed a hand underneath him as he pushed up his body. He gritted his teeth as he was almost instantaneously aware of the agony surging from his stomach.

It hurt. A lot.

A wave of dizziness and pain washed over him and he groaned, clutching his head.

Okay. The first rule of astray, discombobulated confusion: Recover his bearings and start organizing the situation.

Number 1. I have no absolutely clue on where I am.

Number 2. The last thing I recall is getting stabbed. I'm starting to remember, now.

Number 3. Where are Train and Eve? Shouldn't they have brought me somewhere or something? They couldn't have just left me here, have they? Of course not. Something must have happened…to…them…

…

Fear crept into his system, and his heart beat faster. They'd better be alright.

He looked around. He was in a little alley. Another wave of confusion surged over him. They had been in a park when he had blacked out. Tisker, or whoever did it, must have dumped him here. Stupid. He should have taken care of him first. Maybe they thought that he was going to die? As if!

_...I just came to the conclusion that I am always surrounded by retarded people. _

_With the exception of Eve, of course. _

After a short self-pitying moment, he began to walk, keeping one hand on the wall to keep his balance. But it didn't support him enough, and he wobbled and almost fell over again. Pain was pulsing throughout his entire body now, and he had to catch his breath. Black spots filled his vision and he swayed dizzily, experiencing swift moments where he wasn't too sure which way the ground was, or where the light was coming from. He bit his lip and shook a hand in front of his face, trying to center his focus. This sucked. Really bad. He was confused, lost and disoriented and in pain, without a clue of what was going on.

…What should he do now?

He looked up. There was murmuring up ahead. Good; he wasn't far from civilization. Spurred on by this revelation, he began to walk faster, finally ignoring the pain long enough to take his hand off the wall.

But the moment he exited the alleyway, he was almost blinded by the sudden light that the walls had been shadowing. Immediately, people were swarming all around him. Music blared in his ears. His nose filled with the smells of cotton candy, hot dogs and other junk foods. Panic swept over and took control of his instincts, and he backed up, heart beating frantically. It only took Sven half a minute to realize that there was a parade. People in funny costumes were jumping around and marching off on the road. People all around were waving their arms, cheering and shouting, "Lib! Lib! Lib! Lib!"

Lib? Guess he'll find out later.

"Hey, buddy. Are you okay?" A man to his left asked, turning around his head.

Sven didn't answer, just gave the man a long, glazed over stare before slowly moving away, ignoring his surprised call behind him. He didn't have the time or energy to waste explaining anything of his situation to anybody.

As Sven staggered through the crowd, he was able to see a man standing on a white float. He was facing the crowd and waving his arms. He had strange orange hair, his long, spiky bangs slicked up with gel and pointing to the back of his head like a spear. He was all grins and smiles, and when he waved, the frenzied shouting of the crowd became even louder. _"Lib! Lib! Lib! Lib!" _

Sven noticed the tight security, and all the posters plastered along the street walls with this man's face on it. So he was running for mayor. Or, rather, had just become mayor.

Why hadn't he heard about this? This was a completely different location from where he had been before. Sven grimaced. Eve… Train… hold on-

As he turned his head, about to try and get some more information, he froze.

A mob of familiar, spiky brown hair had entered his vision. It was moving away from him, but Sven would be able to recognize it even if it had been a mile away. The guy who didn't know he needed a shower until you literally pushed shampoo into his hands and directed him to the bathroom. The guy with the sea urchin head. The head that belonged to his partner.

Sven began to push through the crowd, ignoring their protests and glares. He had to get to him.

He finally shoved his way out of the crowd and straightened up, looking around, frantic that he had lost him. But no- there he was, walking a little ways away on the abandoned part of the street, littered with dropped cotton candy and wrappers. I was so relieved that I had found him, I couldn't focus on anything else but his familiar brown mob of his as I took a step forwards.

"Hey!" I shouted. "Hey! Hey! Train! _Hey_!"

He didn't stop. Wonderment bewildered Sven for a few moments, and he ran towards him. "Hey, stop! Didn't you here me? You deaf or something?" He grabbed his friend's shoulder. "What happened! Where's Ev-

The mob of brown hair whipped around, and suddenly Sven was eye-to-eye with the barrel of a gun that used to fight alongside him.

Train stood in front of him, holding _that gun_ up to his partner's face.

Sven was so shocked for a few moments that all he could do was stammer. But just when he was about to say something, ("What the heck, Train?" "Did you drink something you weren't supposed to again?" "Whatever you're mad at me for, it was for your own good.") he stopped, looked again and he saw what he had failed to notice before.

Train's eyes were not warm. They were not laughing, they were not joking. They held no tint of life at all. It was as though all of it had been erased and all that was left were these glowing, sharp looking yellow eyes. His pupils had narrowed so tightly they bore an extreme resemblance to a cat's. Shivers were sent down Sven's spine upon seeing the dark, cold look. He also took notice of the long black coat that decked Train's shoulders, running all the way down to his ankles. He had stopped wearing those a long time ago, along with his assassination job.

Something had happened. Something bad. Something that made Train change so suddenly and so dramatically.

"Train…" Sven began, but the chestnut haired man had already started talking. His voice was dark, barely recognizable. Something Sven had only heard from him in the darkest of times, like when he punched Creed in the church when he had almost shot Sven with the Lucifer bullet, or when Eve had gotten beaten up by the cowboy Taoist. It took Sven a few moments to realize that he was talking to him.

"Let go of me."

Sven was aware that his hand was still on his shoulder. Feeling nervous, he loosened his tight grip and let his hand fall. "Train…is something wrong?"

"You know my name. You're from Chronos, right?" He said in the same cold monotone. He sounded almost bored, if but to some extent, annoyed. "You should no more than to touch me so casually. I have no reason to listen to what Chronos has to say. I am allowed to have nights after missions with no disturbances. Goodbye."

With a swish and a fluttering of his black overcoat, he turned away. Silently walking down the street as though nothing had transpired between them, as if all of the previous tension had never even existed in the first place

As if Sven had never spoken to him.

This time Sven did not chase him. He didn't shout disbelieving outbursts at him or continue asking questions or shake him by the shoulders and demand why he was acting like this. That man's aura clearly stated that if he kept on following him, he would have shot him, right there in the middle of the street, and could have done it without attracting any attention, too.

Sven stood in the middle of the road; his eye as wide as it ever could be, staring after his shrinking back. The shouting and cheering behind him seemed muted; they didn't even matter anymore.

Those last words had scared him. He couldn't think. He didn't know what to think. He could hardly even breathe as it was.

His mind had gone numb. His body was moving on its own now. He turned around and slowly walked away, into a separate alley. He continued to walk for a few minutes, the voices getting softer and softer as he dragged himself on. Finally, when he didn't have the will to go on any farther and he couldn't hear the faint background noise anymore, all his energy seemed to suddenly vanish and he stumbled weakly, falling to his knees, and then to his face as though he had been shot. He didn't try to get up. The pain in his stomach was aching in all sorts of ways now, and he was on the verge of crying out for help. Pleading with some invisible, illusory friend who was not there, did not exist. Maybe even screaming. But he couldn't do that. Somewhere in his pained, terribly confused, and hurt mind, he held onto the last of his dignity—or some other emotion—that would not permit him to. Meanwhile, the rest of his mind whirled in all sorts of directions, unsure of where to go, what to choose, what to make of the state of affairs.

What…the…heck?

This wasn't a trick. Everything was too real. This irrelevant, random mayor, the town's praising and thrill, Train's dark, cold voice. _Let go of me. _

Maybe it was some kind of dream.

Some twisted, warped dream that was being triggered because of my stab wound. Yeah, the pain was making me delusional. That was it.

…Well, I want to wake up now, please.

I didn't like this feeling. I wanted to get away from it as fast as possible.

The feeling as though the world stopped moving, and everything that used to be so familiar to me disappeared and was replaced by foreign, frightening exterior.

My eyelid drooped. As my mind became fuzzy and my vision clouded around the edges, my pain seemed to ebb a little bit. Maybe if I went to sleep, all of this would go away. Everything could be fixed and I wouldn't have to deal with any of this anymore.

…My eye closed even further. Maybe I could even wake up, with Eve and Train by my side, looking down anxiously at me, but ready to pull me up if I was alright and greet me with smiles.

For the second time in 24 hours, Sven lost into consciousness.

* * *

><p>Review! Please! =)<p> 


	6. Chapter 2: Omake Theater

**OMAKE THEATER **

**Chapter 2. **

"**Nobody recognizes me… I'm in a foreign world… I'm bleeding bucketloads from my injury that nobody in this place seems to fu*king NOTICE. (Don't worry, Sven, this is the author's fault. Not yours.) I must be… must be…in… IN-" **

**Sven's phone suddenly started to ring. He picked it up, putting it to his ear. "DAMMIT! What now? I was on a role!" **

"_**Hiya, Svenny-munchYkins!" **_

"**DON'T CALL ME THAT. And… Train?" **

"_**Yup! Eve got the area number for Lala land!" **_

"**Lala land?" **

"_**HAHAHAHA not really. Your actually in the universe of our anim-"**_

_FALCON PUNCH! _

"_**Shut the fu*k up, Train. He's not supposed to know that. We are SO not breaking the third barrier."**_

"_**But we already did!" **_

"**Eve? You're in on this too!" Betrayal tasted like salty bananas! OMGZ**

"**_I'm sorry Sven." _Eve said, who was suspiciously sounding not very sorry. At all._  
>It's for the best. But Train and I can lead you along the way." <em>**

"**Wait-What?" **

**He heard the sound of rustling pages. _"According to the ani- I mean… Lala land guidebook, you're about to slip on a banana peel." _**

"**What?" **

**Sven suddenly slipped on a convenient banana peel. **

**Sven sat up. "Woah! That was convenient! But I still don't believe you!" **

"_**And now you're about to step on dog doo." **_

**Sven stepped forward and his sparkly clean gentleman shoe sunk into a convenient wet pile of dog doodie. **

"…**O…kay… That's weird." Sven looked around. "No seriously, where are you guys hiding? It's freaking me out." **

"**_Ooh! Ooh! My turn!"_ Train grabbed the guidebook from Eve. _"Let's see here…boring…boring…boring…" _Sven heard pages flipping._  
>Ooh! A piano is about to drop from the sky!" <em>**

"_**WHAT." **_

****Above Sven, at that very moment** **

"**Well, Jerry, thanks for helping me get this grand piano to the top floor!" **

"**Ha ha ha, you're welcome Bob. And you know how you can repay me?" **

"**How so, Jerry?" **

**Jerry pulled out a shotgun. "By letting me kill you so I can store your dee-lischus brain in my freezer!" **

"**NOOO!" Jerry shot Bob and pushed the piano of the ledge. **

****Back to our protagonist** **

"**I don't see any piano-"**

**Sven looked up just as the piano landed on his head. "DAMMIT!" **

"**_And now you're about to be attacked by raging wildebeests!" _Train's chipper voice piped from the transmitter. **

"**HELL NO!" **

**The ground starting shaking as a herd of raging wildebeests suddenly appeared and trampled Sven even further into the ground with their giant hooves (of doom). **

"…**Sven?" **

**No answer. **

**Eve turned to Train. "GREAT! Now because the aimless plot of this Omake, you've KILLED HIM! Who'll be our protagonist now?" **

"**I DON'T KNOW! I'M SORRY! DON'T MAKE ME FEEL BAD!" Train went to cry in an emo corner. **

**Eve sighed and began dialing. **

**And that is how, due to the random chain of events, Tearju's pet meerkat Jalapeño became the star of the fanfiction.**


End file.
